Everyone has been created with a sense of belonging and a desire to have a friend or be in a relationship with others. Humans are naturally wired to live in relationship. The reason being God does not want us to live in isolation. That is why in each of us we have been purposely created incomplete; lacking something that someone else will fill in our lives, so that we are not self sufficient, in need of no one. This is even more so for women. We love being in relationship, surrounded by friends; maybe it’s because of our nurturing nature, that we tend to be sensitive to the needs of others.
Friends affect us either positively or negatively whether we like it or not. Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. We therefore need to choose our friends very wisely. Sometimes we tend to confuse acquaintances with friends. A clear picture is this; out of your 500 Facebook friends maybe two or three are your friends and the rest are mere acquaintances.
With modern technology sometimes we tend to be lazy and opt for the cold use of our devises where we send messages and hope to maintain our relationships when it’s convenient for us. It’s vital to have the human touch and physical presence to sustain a relationship. Whether it’s a phone call or quick meet up for coffee, shopping or to go to the movies this will bring friends closer; otherwise out of sight out of mind. We have a lot to learn from children because they are never tired of having too many play dates as this brings them closer and solidifies their friendships.
If as an adult you are still in contact with your elementary or high school friends you are blessed among the few. Friendship can go through different phases. Dynamics of a friendship can change due to the fact when both of you were single, and later one gets married or has a baby or suffers a loss of a loved one or even moves far away. Regardless of what has changed in your relationship, if it’s a genuine friendship it’s worth investing in it. When we understand the phase our relationship is in, it can help us build it and deepen our friendship.
The Bible in I Samuel 18:1 talks of unique friendship between Jonathan and David who shared a pure selfless love for each other, which I would like to draw from it, my top three characteristics of a true friend. A true friend is:
- Loving: True friends don’t just assume you love them, but affirm their love for one another and their appreciation of your being their friend.
- Loyal: you know a true friend in times of adversity. A true friend will stick with you through thick and thin. Proverbs 17:17
- Honest: Speak truthfully to your friend. Wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy Proverbs 27:6
Even though all these above are good characteristics that we should have to be a good friend and seek for in a friend, let us not forget we are humans and nobody is perfect. We should manage our expectations and understand that it is nearly impossible to find a perfect friend; simply because we are not prefect ourselves. But this should not hinder us from striving for perfection and being kind and loving to each other.
What are your top characteristics that you look for in a good friend, and do you possess them yourself to be a good friend to others? Share with us, we would love to hear from you. Be a good friend to someone today.
