It is the most ancient weapon that has existed in time. Most women have fallen under it, some recovered while others were left scarred for life. As women, we have all partook in gossip whether directly or indirectly. Maybe you can vividly remember the hurt, as you heard your name through the vine and discovered what was being said about you behind your back. Maybe you are in high school and you don’t understand why suddenly everyone including your close friends is looking at you weirdly.

Gossip has become the most paying industry; from Hollywood gossip of celebrities, politicians, to even just mere fake news, the demand and supply of gossip in our modern society has exponentially increased. It is amazing how God’s word addresses our everyday life and the Bible tackles on gossip. In Proverbs 18:8 & chapter 26:22, you have the same scripture twice; “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go to the inmost parts.” Gossip is sweet to the ear but very damaging to one’s reputation. Here are 5 myths about gossip:

• If the person who is being gossiped doesn’t know, it’s okay: When you are gossiping about someone, know that you are hurting them, whether they know about it or not. It makes you to not only look at that person from the lenses of the gossiper, which might not necessarily be true, but also affects your relationship. In Proverbs: 16:28 it warns us; “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip betrays close friends.”
• As long as I am not the one who started the gossip it’s okay: By actively partaking in gossip, it makes you be equally at fault. We often hear about court judgments where someone is accused of being an accomplice.
• I can’t stop someone from gossiping: Every gossiper needs an attentive ear to keep on gossiping. You can refuse to be part of a gossip by telling the gossiper that you are not comfortable talking behind someone’s back. Invite the gossiper to talk directly with the person to express what bothers her/him about them. If you are not bold enough for confrontation, change the subject and talk about yourself or the person you are with instead. Proverbs: 26:20 it says; “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.”
• I can repeat the gossip if it’s coming from a reliable source: Regardless of how trusted the source of the gossip is, you should not repeat it to someone else because you should take ownership of only what you say and not what others say. People will quickly forget the original source of the gossip and you will end up justifying yourself: a good example of this is the famous chain e-mails. (By the way, I hate them .)
• Someone is sharing gossip with me because they trust me: Always remember that if someone can freely gossip about others to you, they will do the same about you to others; what is there to stop them? Gossiping to someone is not a sign of trust but rather of mistrust, especially if the gossiped person is supposed to be a friend. We see in Proverbs 20:19 “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.”

So whether you are an occasional gossiper or a regular gossiper, we need to be aware that the damage of gossip on people’s reputation is profound. So what should we do, to not gossip or when we find ourselves entangled in the web of gossip?  The same as what I always teach my kids; have a habit of always saying good things about people, and you will have no need to whisper. Everyone enjoys hearing a compliment or praise about himself or others. I have never heard of anyone being damaged because of a compliment. It all boils down to the golden rule; do unto others what you would like to be done unto you.

Share with us what ways you use to get out of a gossip or avoid gossiping.