The role of fatherhood is slowly disappearing as fathers are regarded as only bread winners, when they are more than that. Most of us women we have that motherly instinct that lead us, and we like to apply it everywhere, including on the parenting style of our husbands. Sometimes we correct how our spouses deal with children by putting our two cents everywhere. Guess what! By doing that, we are not only undermining their authority, but also making them take the back seat as they feel incompetent. Here are 5 tips to help your spouse to be more engaged in his father role:
- Allow him to be a father in his best possible way, and being okay with the fact that he will make mistakes along the way. Children don’t come with operating manuals. We need to understand that what should be driving us is not the fear of making mistakes, but the intent of our actions; which is to raise responsible future adults.
2. Don’t correct your spouse in front of the kids on the way he is disciplining. This may lead to your children losing respect towards their father. If there is something you are in disagreement with your husband, point it out to him behind closed doors and in a respectful way. In the Bible in Proverbs 3:12 it says; because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. We see that discipline is done out of love; in the same way God disciplines his children to bring out the best of them, so do fathers in the children they love. Sometimes we think loving a child is giving them all that they want, but this is far from the truth.
3. Acknowledge and encourage your spouse on the good work he is doing with children, not only on Father’s Day. If possible don’t be general in your encouragements. For example you could tell him how nice it was of him to spend some alone time with your son to hear him out on his aspirations or how you enjoy watching him spend time playing with the kids on weekends, or how he stands his ground when it comes to discipline.
4. Support your spouse in his decisions. Understanding that you and your husband are on the same team and clearly communicating that to the kids is capital. It will bring sanity in your home and your kids will quickly learn, if dad says no, it’s wasted efforts asking mom. as the answer will be no as well.
5. Respect your husband’s authority and communicate to your kids that you expect the same from them. Children are keen observers, and if they see you lack respect to their father, they will follow suite.
Fathers need to know that they have a great impact in the lives of their children, especially daughters. I remember most of my core values were grounded in me by my father. I guess it’s because fathers will go with facts and logic without being easily tangled in emotional discipline. Children are looking up to their fathers as their heroes for both psychological and emotional support. Let us help fathers take an active role in both the raising and disciplining of children as this will bring forth balanced and responsible future adults.
